A Wonderful Man
Everyday is a blessing
I only met David Conroy earlier this year. First, on email. We live in New York City and my son Dylan’s soccer club there introduced us. We spend a lot of time in Lusk, Ireland, and Dylan wanted to try and play over the summer.
After a few emails we spoke on the phone. David explained his program at Laytown FC and how often practice occurred. I remember that he mentioned games and that if Dylan worked hard in training he might see some playing time.
I was excited for Dylan. The tone David struck was happy and enthusiastic. He was eager to have this stranger from New York join the boys at Laytown FC. With Covid and all it has taken from us this hit me, David’s outlook was positive. It warmed my heart and I was so excited for my son.
By mid-July Dylan was in Ireland, with his mother Stephanie, and he’d finished his 2nd training session. David sent a short email to update me and his club in NY. In it he complemented his “technical ability” and his “athleticism.” All things a parent likes to hear. But he ended the email with kind words any parent will gladly hear over, and over, again. He wrote, “…the fact that he’s a lovely well mannered kid helps.”
I spoke to Dylan around this time and asked about how it was going. He was excited. The team was very good, big, physical, technical. And he’d also learned a year older. He had work to do, and he was excited about that. He was also impressed with how they worked in practice, the effort and energy level expected suited him. And the boys were welcoming, friendly. This says more than words can about the tone and leadership David brought to the team.
I arrived in Ireland just before a game against St. Kevin’s. David and I met briefly after that game and chatted about it and soccer. His questions were thoughtful, precise. He wanted to know how it compared to this age group in the US. What were the differences, areas one might be better than another.
We chatted again at the end of a training session. A couple of his children bounding around as we talked. We discussed Liverpool, my father is from Bootle. We talked about how Dylan had fit in and how that was down to a few things, least of all the character of the team, a character David nurtured. We laughed as we tried to figure out exactly how Dylan had wound up at Laytown and figured it was a mutual connection in Liverpool between him and our club in New York. We talked about the Laytown Races and how my mother loved them, we talked about Arklow where my grandparents were from. It was lovely.
The last time we spoke was as we walked off the pitch following Dylan’s last game. We joked about bad referees, and I thanked him for giving my son such a wonderful experience. Even then he was giving, Dylan had worked hard, earned it himself. He was being kind, David made it so. For Dylan the experience is one that’s made him think he might be able to get better than he previously thought, at a game he loves.
The following day he sent a lovely note to Dylan. He complimented him on his hard work and then he wrote something in a way that I think exemplifies David, as much as I knew him. He wrote. “u have all the qualities to become a top player if u keep working hard.” “If.” The message is simple. Nothing worth having is easy to get or easy to keep. If you want something be sure you will need to work hard to get it. Wisdom and challenge delivered in a few kind and friendly words.
David friended me on Facebook that night. I noticed it just as I was getting to bed. It felt good. I’d really liked chatting with him, it was great to watch him work, a brilliant coach and mentor of young men. I liked the idea of making a new friend.
The following day, I went to check my phone and thought to look at his profile. I’d seen a few kids orbiting him at training and I wanted to see if they were his. I had to read it several times as the shock and disbelief gave way to comprehension of what I was learning.
David was dead.
I spoke to our son Dylan about it that night. Careful to say that it takes time to come to terms with loss, particularly a sudden one. I’d say all that works is time and love from those you can hold close. He, like anyone, was in shock. “I just saw him.” Dylan mentioned David’s children and we talked about how wonderful he was. Dylan said – he was so good. He made you want to work harder, but he didn’t motivate you with fear of punishment. He got you to do it yourself.
Our hearts ache for his wife, five children, family, and all that knew him. We pray for him and them and hope time can heal this chasm in their lives. We also hope that knowing we will cherish the little time we knew him brings some peace. He was a wonderful man, happy and cheerful while serious and dedicated. This is not a balance many can strike. He did it with a lovely smile. May he Rest In Peace.
A GoFundMe page has been created for his family, you can find it here.
Author’s note: For reasons that aren’t terribly interesting I’m stuck in Ireland and unable to fly home to NYC. I hope to document that experience and my time in Ireland here.