Meditations for the Modern "Man"

Coping When Your Burrito Lacks Chicken

I get it—life is tough. The rent's too high, your job's draining, your notifications are suspiciously dry, and every day feels like an exhausting balancing act of responsibilities, expectations, and trying not to lose your mind. We all have our struggles.

But, I have to get something off my chest.

Let's talk about Meditations by Marcus Aurelius—the book that has become the sacred text of young men trying to "man up" and "embrace their struggles." You've probably seen it on the bookshelf of that guy who's all about "personal growth" and "grinding." There is NO way you saw it on a bookshelf; it's more likely been jammed down your throat by some algorithm. But, you know the type: the one nodding solemnly over really getting into Stoic philosophy to "deal with life."

Life. Because, of course, what is life if not a never-ending series of devastating tribulations? The sheer agony of a Chipotle employee shorting you on chicken. The existential despair of realizing your standing desk has still not fixed your posture. And worst of all—the slow emotional decay of being ghosted. Marcus had men actually being ghosted—as in, killed in battle—while you're stuck staring at your phone, watching that little "typing" bubble appear and disappear, only to be left in digital purgatory with no reply.

Now, let's set the record straight. Marcus Aurelius wrote Meditations while managing an empire—an empire full of diseases, including a plague that wiped out a quarter of its population. His struggles? Leading Rome through a brutal disease that killed millions while actively managing wars, rebellions, and the general chaos of ruling an empire. Your struggles? You're at home, pondering whether your DoorDash driver took a suspiciously long route to deliver your poke bowl.

The modern-day Stoic disciple proclaims: "I'm embracing hardship!" Oh, are you? Is that what you're doing when your smart thermostat sets the room temperature one degree too high? Marcus Aurelius was out there leading an army through disease-ridden battlefields, fighting off invading tribes, and contemplating the impermanence of life as his soldiers coughed up blood in the mud. You, on the other hand, have bravely continued on after realizing your Starbucks mobile order was placed at the wrong location.

You see, in Rome, the disease didn't come with a cute little "sick day" email to your boss. No herbal teas. No Uber Eats to bring you soup. Just an endless parade of war, plague, and political betrayal.

BUT!

Here’s the pivot.

It’s really more than just a “but”; I’m about to contradict myself and raise a few thoughts.

Life is hard these days, and if you've made it this far, my point isn't to sound like someone who claims, "Back in my days," we walked uphill both ways in the snow.

It’s easy to roll your eyes at the Stoic influencer-industrial complex and still find yourself nodding along with Marcus’ words. Maybe that contradiction is the whole point.

Something is going on in the modern world. But I worry that seeking guidance from the words of a man who struggled against very different realities is a mistake, particularly if we fail to apply them to our times.

First, the struggles of today.

The latest Mental State of the World report confirms it—mental wellbeing has not bounced back since the pandemic. In fact, it's holding steady at a post-pandemic low, particularly among younger generations. The data shows that if you're under 35, you likely have worse mental health than your parents or grandparents did at your age.

Far too many of us see little or no return on our substantial investment. The advancements in our lives are endless things to stream, scroll, or buy. Much of it junk we don’t need. The worst of us are rewarded. The system we have in place is grinding people down and destroying the planet as we propel into what - techno feudalism.

We have more wealth, comfort, and convenience than any generation before us. And yet, countries with higher GDPs actually have worse mental health outcomes. Studies suggest that the younger you were when you got your first smartphone, the worse your mental health is today.

Turns out, ultra-processed food doesn't just wreck your body; it's also ruining your brain. The more of it you eat, the more likely you are to be depressed, anxious, and unable to regulate your emotions.

Maybe drunk on abundance isn’t the vibe you should want.

And let’s not forget the diet we feed our minds, doom-scrolling from childhood, in the case of Gen Z, and for an hour after you say goodnight, looking at you, Gen X. Might it be a bigger curse than we have realized?

What you see on the screens is all A Labyrinth of Manufactured Moments; it is all, in essence, a lie. Reality is fleeting, slipping away the moment it happens. The rich symphony of sensations that make up real experience vanishes in an instant, only truly existing when lived. Next time you're mesmerized by curated beauty on a screen, remember: it's just a crafted story designed to capture your time and subtly deceive—it is not real.

Everything, and I mean everything on your screens, is not real. Not everything is bad. The connection it provides is brilliant. Like letter writing once was. But the pleasure is fleeting as evidenced by the fact that you seek post after post, one after another after another. Chasing the high.

At best, it is an honest approximation of the event. But at its worst? It is a conniving, deceitful attempt to rob you of what is your most valuable asset, the tiny bit of time we all get. They are also after your money.

I’m torn. Aurerlius' ideas were motivated by hardships few endure. However, the truth is that Meditations contains eternal advice that can improve the human condition.

Master your mind; accept what you can’t control. Live fully in the present—tomorrow isn’t promised. Everything fades, so don’t chase status, chase virtue. Be good, no matter what others do. Remember: death is near, so act with purpose. The universe unfolds as it should—trust it. People will wrong you; respond with patience, not anger. Life isn’t about what happens to you but how you respond. True strength lies in discipline, wisdom, and kindness. Marcus Aurelius’ wisdom isn’t just ancient philosophy—it’s a guide for resilience, clarity, and living well. A challenge many face.

We do look to be at a crossroads where many are ready to plunge humanity back into chaos, into the past. A return to conquered struggles. Remember that plague Aurelius faced? Most people believe it was smallpox—a disease we eradicated with… yes, a vaccine. Have a Google; you'll see that things can always take a turn for the worse.

Meditations remains a powerful guide for resilience and clarity, but I was interested to find as I researched this that some argue stoic detachment conflicts with modern emotional health, its endurance mindset overlooks systemic struggles, and its fatalism discourages activism. Critics say it overvalues reason and doesn’t fit today’s fast-paced world. Yet, its core lessons—mastering the mind, focusing on what we control, and practicing virtue—are timeless. Stoicism isn’t outdated; it just needs adaptation to complement modern psychology, ethics, and daily life.

Stoicism sounds great—until you're stuck in traffic or broke and not an emperor with unlimited power.

So, the modern meditation? It certainly seems the ice bath isn’t providing the genuine hardship we were built to overcome. And we are, all of us, capable of more than we imagine. All of us.

Focus on what we control. The next time you do or see something amazing, outrageous, absurd, or infuriating, watch it, and don’t grab your phone (the truth is, we all know it's already in our hands). Don’t post it, don’t tell a soul. Keep it to yourself. Do not feel the need to share it. Be stoic in your silence. Feel the power of not needing to share. The power of knowing and not needing to be liked.

If your body seemingly urges you to post or see what others have, consider what the stoic would do in the face of such a challenge. If you can’t resist, perhaps you have found the struggle to overcome. The thing you can’t resist. The power that, for now, is greater than you.

You could start small, use your smartphone to call someone and seek out the information we now post. No video; hear the words alone. Perhaps embrace the single task over multitasking. It might feel odd, even hard, but that’s the point.

Like any idea, it is imperfect. The tech of your times powerfully dictates how you live, but you can embrace the positive while resisting the negative.

Consider his words in today's context: "Be like the cliff against which the waves continually break; but it stands firm and tames the fury of the water around it." The cliff stands firm against the waves, and you can remain grounded in your purpose when faced with the constant pull of social media. You will not always win, just as a cliff will erode. But the virtue to stand and resist is something to celebrate.

Maybe the challenge isn’t rejecting or accepting Stoicism wholesale but figuring out what version of it—if any—actually helps you.

Also, it's worth remembering that Meditations was, likely, never intended for public consumption. There is a modern take on Meditations to be produced. One that reflects these days. Our times and the very real challenges we face. But Marcus was talking to himself, about himself, in the moments he lived. Maybe that's something to consider before jumping on the bandwagon.

That said, maybe I should've kept these thoughts to myself. Stoicly. Of course. What do I know? I just realized I let my latte get cold. And I’ll probably share this somewhere. The duality of it all.